Tranquility...

Okay I guess I will just sit here in my room all day watching Lifetime and wishing for a better life. I pray for it every night. I just wish there was a secret to learn how to deal with everyday life. You know when I was 15, I prayed every night that I could hurry up and turn 16 so I could drive and never stay home. Then I didnt get a vehicle. So I wished for a year that 17 would hurry up so I could get a vehicle. NOW I am just waiting for 18, because with or without a vehicle..I'm leaving*NOBODY truly understands how I feel because they dont live here in my shoes every day 24-7.

Dex used to be my rock. But now its Jessi. I couldnt live without her. I wouldnt have a life without her. I WISH RIGHT NOW I HAD A HUGE FREAKIN LINE*

UGH UGH UGH~Im going back to lay down on my bed and watch TV*

I dont even know why I try anymore. Today was crappy. TIRED all freaking day. School, work, home seems to be my life. If I do get out of the house I get curfews like 9:00. I swear it seems as if my drama never ends.

Momma went to Louisiana again yesterday, not home today...she'll be coming tomorrow. I cleaned the house a little today. I did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Took a shower, now I'm doing this..going to sleep.

School tomorrow. I been taking diet pills to give me plenty energy for school. I feel like my life is going in slow motion. Is it? I have four months left...60 something days to be exact until graduation.

Wanna know the biggest thing I regret about my high school career and life in general. Letting myself go. I let myself go for so long and now it has caught up with me.

I just want to get out, go to college, and be through with it.

So what is it going to really be like? I have no idea, but I'm ready for it.


BLAh BLah Blah

I am going to sleep before I get depressed.

Yeah I am awake. It's 7:10 am. First day back to school today. I already miss being on vacation. I dont even want to go back to schoOL. But I gueess I have to. I bought a new shirt yesterday at Wal*Mart, its really cute. Hot Pink. I wish I could be back in Louisiana. But I only have 4 months and 10 days left. I can do this. I am probably going to go down there though for Mardi Gras which is the 24th of FebUrary until like the 28Th. I am just going to take off of work and miss schooL. Anywyas, I hAve To go get paCked up for SChOol..

AsHley ReNe CarLtoN* I love you dearly. Stay strong & remember call me, no matter what time, when, where, or why...Just dial my #~LOVE YOU

I am in Louisiana right now. I got here yesterday at around 5. We went to go eat out last night as a family. And we brought my truck, dad's truck...the two four-wheelers and OURSELVEs. AnyWay. We are going by my aunt sandra's tonight to PArTAy, pop fire-works...and ride 4-WheELeRs. I aint going over there for a lil bit though cuz I am chilling with my grandma right now.

AnYwAy. Kentral owes me 40 dollars now. He called me last night thinking he was slick tryin to bet on them effin Canes. LSU sSTomPeD THaT ASs LaSt Night. 40-3. 40 dollars...40 for LSU. LoL YeP. And He better pay me!! I aint playin this time.

WelL I am going eat again. Roast Beef Po-Boy...MmMMmMMm

The first Christmas present I got this year was a ring from a very close friend who lives in Chipley. His name is Bo. He bought me a sort of friendship ring. Then yesterday I came home from work and saw two four-wheelers sitting in the yard. So I am thinking what the hell? Who is here on two four wheelers? So I walked inside and I started looking around for someone inside...that could've drove in on two four-wheelers. Nobody. So mom and dad are sitting at the table, laughing like what are you looking for? I said whose four-wheelers in the front yard? They said well one is yours and one is Harley's. I was like WHAT?!?!?! So yeah. I got a four-wheeler for Christmas. My early Christmas presents this year were great. A Suzuki Z-250. It's white and blue...matches my truck. LOL. Anyways, I am going to work now...I'll update more later.

ME and Dex are friends, but thats all. At least he's talking to me.